Extract from Behaviour Skills for Parents, Teachers and Support People – A focus on Autism, by Trevor Lewis
Solving Sleep Problems With Children
If there is one issue that affects a whole family, especially the Parents, it is when a child has a sleeping problem. Not only does the child not get enough sleep, which can impact on their mood, behaviour, energy, and level of motivation, but the Parent/s often start missing out on their sleep too. It is because of this that as a Behaviour Specialist, I will often try and get any sleep issues under control as soon as possible before targeting other challenging behaviours. With a tired child, and tired Parents, trying to modify other behaviours is going to be very difficult.
There are three different categories that the majority of sleep problems fall into. Yet, no matter which category the problem falls into, most can be addressed with the same type of strategies, with the odd exception. Subsequently the “Dior Method” strategy is supplied for addressing these categories of sleep problems.
- Not wanting to go to bed/sleep
These are the children who may tantrum when told it’s bedtime and drag their official bed time way past when it is supposed to be. Or, they lie in bed not being able to fall asleep or constantly playing with toys instead of getting to sleep.
These problems usually relate to routines, or lack of them. But they can also be due to the child simply not needing the amount of sleep that the Parents think they need. Further in this chapter I list the average amount of sleep that children need according to their age.
- Not staying asleep or in bed / Early morning waking
This category includes the children that wake often during the night or wake very early in the morning and don’t go back to sleep again.
Waking during the night can be due to a few different factors. The child may need to use the toilet, they have a wet or dirty nappy, or are what is often called a “light sleeper” and so are easily woken by noises, or they do not feel secure in their bedroom because they may be afraid of the dark, or are a long way from the Parents bedroom.
Children who wake then can’t get back to sleep may face the same issue as some of the children in the first category, in that they don’t need as much sleep as their Parents think they do. This is sometimes easily fixed by simply making their bedtime a little later, and making sure they get enough exercise each day.
This category also includes those children who may shout out, cry, or continually come to their parent’s or other family member’s beds during the night. This is specifically addressed in the ‘Night Time Criers’ section later in this chapter.
- Wanting to sleep elsewhere other than in their own bed
This one is quite a common issue, especially in the under five-year-old age group, but can also affect older children. Usually, the child wants to sleep in the Parent’s bed, rather than in their own (sometimes termed ‘Co-sleeping’).
This issue, a little like the first is often around routine, in that they have been allowed to sleep in the Parents bed once or twice, maybe because they were sick, and so simply want this to continue. It can also be due to the child feeling insecure in that they are frightened to sleep in their own room or maybe are just uncomfortable in their own room/bed.
Unfortunately, Mum and Dad, or Caregivers, in most cases you are a lot to blame for this problem. Many Parents simply decide that putting little Johnny or Sally back to bed when they have climbed into theirs is too much of a bother. They are tired, and it is so much easier to just let them sleep in your bed, “just this one time though.”
The ‘Dior Method’ – For Getting Them to Bed, and to Sleep
(For category 1 problems, and as a basis for the other two categories of sleep problems)
This first strategy, ‘The Dior Method’, incorporates suggestions that should help address almost any of the sleep problems that fall into one of the three categories already outlined, but in particular may be all you need for those children who just have difficulty in getting to bed, and getting to sleep. Like other issues addressed by ‘The Dior Method’, these strategies are based on the principles of Applied Behaviour Analysis but also incorporate some other methods that I have also used successfully in my work as a Behaviour Specialist.
Important Notes for Pre-Bedtime
It is best if only low stimuli activities occur in the hour before bed time, that is: reading, writing, drawing, and even watching TV (as long as it’s not a scary movie, or the news) are all good, running around, play fighting or playing hide and seek or similar is not.
Try and avoid ALL foods and, with the exception below, all drinks for the 90 minutes before bedtime. In fact, if you can stretch that to two hours, even better. Though some sleep experts disagree, personally I think a small glass of water or preferably warm milk no closer than …
For more information on helping to solve sleep problems, behaviour, and autism get your copy of Behaviour Skills for Parents, Teachers and Support People – A focus on Autism, by Trevor Lewis